I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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