Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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