I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
