Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
