He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
