The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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