You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
