batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
