My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
