this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
