Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
