His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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