i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i think my cat just said my name.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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