all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
