It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
