If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
