We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
