Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
