I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
