Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
