I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
