I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
