used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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