is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
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We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
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Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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