I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
