I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
