i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
