some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
