I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
