When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
