Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
