is your mom at the bar?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
