he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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