Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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