I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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