I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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