you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
