Just fell off a train. Bad.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize
