i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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