OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
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I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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