Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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