you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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