Pants 0. Shit 1.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
