Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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