jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
