i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
