yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My life is pants optional.
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