We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
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Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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