i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize