I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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