i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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