I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
