This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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