I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
