I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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