You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
vagina is talking i cant
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
