I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
