Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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