I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
