Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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