one might say we're banned from that church
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
