Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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